Brother Samael not a happy chappy

Our spiritual leader Brother Samael Demo-Gorgon is still waiting to receive confirmation from the local public hospital on whether he can provide Satanic chaplaincy to all those who want it.

Here at the temple, we were a bit miffed to hear the Sunshine Coast University Hospital’s statement to A Current Affair a few weeks ago that the Noosa Temple of Satan had not yet requested a chaplaincy role.

The hospital told the TV show: “…there has not been any request for a member of this organisation to become a chaplain at health service facilities.”

But there’s a problem with that.

In multiple emails to the hospital, including in December, February and March, we requested that Brother Samael be allowed into the hospital to provide chaplaincy services!

On our Facebook page in late December, we even reported that we were working with the hospital to have Brother Samael recognised as a chaplain so he could do the Dark Lord’s work of comforting Satanists – and even Christians who may wish to turn to Satanism in their last moments.

In February, we also informed the hospital that Brother Samael had obtained a Blue Card to allow him to work with children.

Brother Samael is now calling on the hospital to give him the ‘green light’ to begin his chaplaincy work.

“Noosa is a hotbed of Satanic activity. It’s mind-boggling that the local hospital isn’t giving the people what they demand – the Satanic pastoral support that is needed in their time of need,” he says.

“This is really a matter of religious freedom. If the hospital is happy with Christian chaplains coming through its doors, then it needs to treat other religious groups, including us Satanists, equally.”

Hail Satan!