We’re under prayer attack!

Brother Samael Demo-Gorgon had been sensing something in his waters….. Heaven forbid, it seems that Catholic groups have decided to wage a cosmic war against the Noosa Temple of Satan!

To be honest, we hadn’t quite prepared for a cosmic war. But, after all, it is 2020. So we may as well roll with the punches!

Catholic groups will be holding a nine-day novena (basically, a bucketload of praying) to St Michael the Archangel “in reparation for the atrocities of the Black Mass”. They even have an event page on Facebook!

The same people behind this prayer fest have also established an online group called ‘Fight Noosa’s Satanic Black Mass’. Quite ominously, the group welcomes people to its page with this message: “Spiritual Warfare isn’t subtle, and neither are we.”

Here at the Noosa Temple of Satan, we’re a bit surprised that those who have been crusading for expanded religious freedoms under Australian law are now turning their attention to attacking our religious freedoms!

In response, Brother Samael is calling on Satanists across the country to come together in communion to summon Satan to counter the prayer attack.

“We think the only way to counter the Catholic prayer warriors is with a counter invocation to Satan. Then all the Catholics will be able to do is to launch a counter counter prayer. But, as Satan is more powerful than their god, we’ll come out on top and the Black Mass will go ahead,” he says.

“We know that asking Satanists to be bothered to do nine days of counter rituals is a far stretch. So we would just encourage them to enjoy a beer or two at home and say a few magical words to Satan. She’ll be right. The Dark Lord will handle it from there.”

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