All heart for Hillsong!

Hey heathens! How many emoji HEARTS can we get for our suggestion for this new sign at The J – the venue where we will be holding our Black Mass later this month?

With the population of Satanists rapidly growing in Noosa, we think it would be a great idea for the council-owned venue to give us the same opportunity as Hillsong to advertise our temple at the entrance.

One would think it would be an easy decision for the council and the venue to support such as Satanic sign, given that our Dark Lord is far more loving and inclusive than the homophobic one that Hillsongers worship. (FYI…Hillsong still has a university that doesn’t allow enrollment by homosexuals.)

Our very own Brother Samael Demo-Gorgon said that having a Satanic sign would be the least of Hillsong’s worries, given its major role in spreading the coronavirus at its Scomo-approved mega-gathering in Sydney in March and the ongoing police investigation involving Brian Houston.

Brother Samael remains pissed, to put it mildly, that Satanists will have to pay a $480 ‘security fee’ to ensure the safe running of its Black Mass in the face of Christian threats, while Hillsong uses the venue free of a security charge every week.

“Hillsong Church uses the same facility for their Sunday services and are not charged additional security costs by the council for the time they spend at this same venue,” he says.

“Is Noosa Council trying to censor our religious freedoms with this excessive extra cost?”

Hail Brian Houston!

Hail The J!

Hail Satan!